Are you sure you really love her?

"Are you sure you really love her?"....

It was like a dream when I met her. She was the most beautiful girl in her faculty in school. 

I knew from the moment I saw her that she was the woman made for me and that God had ordered my steps to meet her. 

I told her to marry me, she smiled and went her way!

Few moths later, she came back and said yes to my propossal.

But the battle has just began! The battle to keep her!

I could not understand whether she loved me or not!

 We were always fighting and quarreling. The relationship was never peaceful and joyful.

Few days to our introduction, we had a serious fight, that made my wife's parent to counsel us to cancel the wedding plans.

But i loved her. I never wanted to loose her! In fact that was why we were always fighting.

I told her that she was my life and indeed i meant it!

I told her that she was my joy and comfort and i really meant it.

Truly i love her.

Nevertheless she did not show me the kind of love that I showed her!

After our last fight before introduction,  i went back  to Abuja, Nigeria which was my base then.

The fighting continued until I got tired.

What is really the problem? I got to the end of myself, then i began to pray.

I prayed to God in tears and asked Him why she gave me a lady that will be a thorn in my flesh.

I was shocked when the Lord gave me the answer.

Guess what?

I was having problems with her because I have given her the place of God in my life. 

It was not a lie!

My dear Tobi had become my idol.

I have made her my source of happiness.

I turned her to my God, I worshiped her practically and could not even focus in prayer anymore.

It was not her fault. It was my fault.

I have forgotten that it was God that brought her to me.

I thought I could keep her by my strength.

 I became so desperate to keep her.

Inwardly it was the fear of loosing her that was always driving me.

I have forgoten that I did not bring her across my own path.

I never realised that whatever thing that the Lord does  will be forever.

Instead of learning to love the Lord the more so that I can learn to love her truly,  I poured all my love on her. 

She practically became my all in all.

My devotion and relationship with God started failing.

I thought that I love her, i never knew i was placing a yoke on her head.

I was making her what only God should be.

I expected her to be everything to me.

Oh I failed to remember that Jesus alone is my everything.

I placed her in danger because i made her to be a rival to God.

But by mercy, i realised my errors.

I repented before the Lord and asked for forgiveness.

I then handed her over back to God.

I stopped trying to keep her.

I remembered that I already promised to love God tight and hold him tight so that the love of God can flow into our relationship.

I casted my bread upon the waters and surprisingly it came back to me.

Oh my Oluwatobiloba came back to me.

She came back loving me in ways I could not explain.

She came back to submit to me and she became my armour bearer.

Oh the fightings stopped. 

Yes we had misunderstandings but we kept moving.

I could have lost her completely because I thought that I had what it take to keep her.

I struggled to show her love but indeed it was not love that i showed her, it was desperation.

I frustrated her and placed on her the expectations that only God can meet.

I tried to change her and made her love me but i failed.

Today i am thankful that I learned to release her to God.

I really dont know why I am telling you this story.

But I hope you will come to understand that no one should take the place of God in your life?

I hope you will not pour the love of God on your spouse or anyone and make the Almighty God take the backseat in your life?

I hope you know that you cannot have what God has not given you and what God gave you, He is the only one that can keep?

I hope you know that you should never give the praise of God to anyone in your life, no matter how much you love the person.

If God has brought her, then God will sustain her.

Don't  force that relationship to come through.

Do your best, but let God do His work.

There are several relationships that God himself has broken because you have made the persons involved take the place of God.

If you love her, then don't give her the place and glory of God.

Who are you bowing to now because of an assistance they are rendering to you or because of the love you claim to have for him or her? 

If you truly love the person, don't give the honour and praise of God to that person.

He is a jealous God.

I hope you understand?

Aderemi Badru